My Celebrity Home

I've been putting off going through the pile of bills and junk mail heaped on my desk (heck, I cleaned out the litter box today just to avoid them), so I found myself looking for something to kill the time. And I found it -- aerial photos of celebrity homes. 71 of them.

I was surprised at the ones that caught my eye. I guess taste in acting roles doesn't equal taste in living quarters.

To me, the most drool-worthy is Jim Carrey's Brentwood hacienda. I love the intimate, U-shaped layout which seems perfect for entertaining. I'm a sucker for lush landscaping, too, and the grounds are way wilder than the impersonally manicured greenery of other celebrity homes. However, the pool area falls a couple of chaise lounges short of perfect -- where are all my superstar pals supposed to hang out? 

Carrey apparently purchased this home in 1996 for a mere $6M. Perhaps he's tired of it by now and is willing to hand it over to a poor Vitamin-D deficient slob from Seattle? If not, I wonder if he'd consider selling it a little under market value -- around, say, $200K? Yeah, I don't think so either.



Jim Carrey's hacienda, courtesy Lonny.com

The silver medal in my L.A. Real Estate Dreamlympics goes to Adam Sandler for his comfy rambler below. The owner may be a brash comedian, but there's nothing ostentatious about the place. Instead, it gives every appearance of being a quiet, secluded getaway. I treasure that in a home, even if there's zero danger of paparazzi crawling through the bushes to sneak a shot of me in a bikini. Sandler purchased his little Bel Air hideaway for $42.5M. I'm sure I could dig that out (along with plenty of lint) from my couch cushions.



Adam Sandler's secluded rambler, courtesy Lonny.com

If I was so filthy rich I needed to look for excuses to spend money, I might opt for Rod Stewart's wannabe chateau. (In my opinion, a house qualifies as a chateau only if it's in France and only if somebody had to marry a sibling to acquire it.) What really sells me on Rod's place is the "backyard."  

Sure, every celebrity home has a pool, but then there's the one below. Here's my fantasy: I step out on that second-story deck in the morning to feel the envigorating sun on my tanned, lithe limbs (hey, I said it was my fantasy) as I perform my daily yoga rituals. Afterward, in a zen-like state of bliss, I glide down to the pool in a flowing caftan, perfectly tousled hair flowing in the breeze, on my way to an afternoon of luxuriating seductively by the pool and bobbing tranquilly in the crystalline water.

I could never wear jeans if I lived there. All of my clothes would have to either billow or sparkle. Or both. Wait, now that I think of it, definitely both. 

Oh, and Rod would have to go. (Sorry Rod; I gots a man.)



Rod Stewart's modest cottage courtesy Lonny.com

Just for the heck of it, here's fantasy me with the tousled hair floating down to the pool. Check out my lithe gams from all that yoga.

I have no idea what these places look like on the inside, so I'm making wild judgment calls based on nothing more than single aerial shots. I'd be willing to bet that Rod Stewart's home is horrifyingly Louis XIV on the inside, and worse, completely lacking in the sorts of interesting alcoves and cozy corners I love so much in a house. I could probably work my decorating magic much more easily with a more inviting layout, like the two others. 

Unfortunately I won't know for sure until I can get a look at the interiors. I feel another wave of procrastination coming on...